Oh MY GOD!
No really, OH MY GOD! As in, GOD!
Just started watching the Charlton Heston's The Ten Commandments last night with my husband. Ended up laughing so hard that I actually fell off the bed and hurt myself.
Who came up with the idea that Charlton Heston could ACT!?!?!?!?!!!!
Today husband took a day off, and we cannot stop talking in bad Cecil B. DeMille-speak.
"Oh, Great One, Father of the Children seated before you, Follower of the God of Abraham, may it please you to pass unto me the platter laden with the flesh of the cattle? The cattle which died in service to our Lord, so that its flesh may provide this humble family with sustenance."
Which causes Husband to choke, but still muster enough strength to reply, "Oh Ye Follower of the God Which Has No Name, I happy to provide this small family with whatever offering I may humbly provide. Let us eat the flesh of the cattle so that we may gain strength to more fully serve the Lord of the Isrealites."
My poor children cannot break into the ongoing joke and are left knowing only that their parents surely are the weirdest couple whom ever walked the earth...
...In Service to our Lord.
Yul Brynner is great though. I think he and Edward G. Robinson are the only ones who can do ANYTHING with that horrible dialogue.
Both my husband and I watched it every year on Easter. (His family's Jewish, mine's Christian, and it was compulsory viewing for both of us.) And neither one of us realized how truly and completely terrible this thing is. Really needs a Mystery Theater 2000 send-up. (Like: Why do the Bedouins drink out of gourds? When did they grow the gourds? GOURDS, mind you, which are squash and need both WATER and a stationary population to grow? With no trees in sight, why do the Bedouin keep using wooden spoons. "Look! A tree, which could fuel a fire! Let's whittle it into a spoon!" Why does Moses' staff keep getting longer and thicker? Huh huh, staff. If the cloak Moses wears is "the cloth of the Hebrews" then why is he the only one wearing it?)
OK, enough said. Have to go upstairs to watch the parting of the red jello, eh, sea.
Edited to add: Apparently this guy doesn't agree with me. Brilliant? Masterful acting? Oh dear.