Friday, March 10, 2006

Day of Questions

Today is definitely The Day of Questions.

I have the whole house-warming gift dilemna below, which has caused me to ponder deeper issues (see comments).

But then I got a phone call from a friend which is REALLY causing the universe to tilt on its axis.

There was a drunken driving accident earlier in the week which got a lot of local press. Guy crashed into center divide, crashed into a tow truck, killing the driver who was standing next to it, and then flipped his own car. I've been glancing at the articles, but not paying much attention to names. My friend had to point out the name to me today.

The drunk driver is the father of my babysitter and husband to a fine and energetic woman, who is a mutual friend to us both.

It's so easy to hate drunk drivers (and again, drunk driving is not a Good Thing) and to feel obvious sympathy for the family of the innocent man who died in pain. But I also feel such sympathy for the family of the drunk driver. Sympathy for how his bad decisions and weaknesses spiralled out and dragged them in.

No man is an island.

I'm sure I'll figure out a way to say this kindly, probably to the mother, but the first question that came to my self-serving mind was, "How do I tell the teenager that she doesn't have to babysit for me on Thursday like we planned, unless she still wants to, but I'm really not asking because I think she's done something wrong or shouldn't be around my kids, but because I thought she probably doesn't want to deal with babysitting right now?"

This is a very small town. What's even worse about this story is that apparently some High School friends of my babysitter took it upon themselves to tell her that her father had been charged while she was at school and before the police had even informed the father or the family. I think the friends were children of local police officers.

Deep sigh.

I think I need to make myself some tea.


Megan Frampton said...

That is a tough conundrum. Maybe "the kids are looking forward to it, but we would understand if you feel like you can't make it this Thursday." And a "hope you're doing okay" comment.

That whole situation just sounds awful, though. I recommend tea as well.

Doug Hoffman said...

Ask her if she needs to talk. Someone outside the family, nonthreatening . . . you might be doing her a world of good. Just let her know you're there for her if she needs to give anyone an earful. Think about it from her point of view -- her mom is probably not going to be a great option, at least not for a while, and her peers? Teenagers are horrible listeners.

CW said...

Oh, poor girl.

I agree with Megan and Doug--excellent advice.

Jay said...

Kids can be such assholes at times. I would do as Megan suggested and just let her know that if she's up to babysitting she's welcome to, but if she doesn't want to, that's okay too.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Wonderful and informative web site. I used information from that site its great. film editing schools

Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read Jazzy 1170xl wheel chairs dodge neon turbos Zyrtec syrup dosage kids Top wireless surveillance systems buy fioricet spam blocker Canada sony dscw5 digital camera Baz allergy Yatch timeshare Dollar general lawsuits protonix