Thursday, March 16, 2006

Letters of Complaint

Sometimes the public sends me letters of complaint which need to be promptly answered. I received one recently which caused me to take a step back and re-evaluate our policies. The letter below is one that I sent to the Superintendent of Schools. Since I'm not interested in naming Board Members online, I've changed their names. But the rest remains the same.

Mickey: A young single Law Student, also Board President.
Jane: A mother of a college-aged student.
Jill: A mother of five children, the eldest heading for college.
Jim: A father of three children, the eldest in Middle School.
Suisan: Me, mother of three children, the eldest in Elementary School.

----- Original Message -----
From: Suisan
To: Superintendent of Schools
Sent: 3/16/2006 10:51:58 AM
Subject: B. Fredericks's email

Dear Sup:

I think Ms. Fredericks is on to something here. Quote:

First I would like to file a general complaint. Meeting at 7:00 in the
evening shows a blatant disregard for those families with young
children. While I can only speak for my family, I believe many families
to be in the same situation, we would be at meetings were it not for
our nightly bath, book and bed ritual which falls smack dab in the
7-8:00 p.m. time frame.


I wholeheartedly agree that this is an outrageous practice and wish to address this issue promptly. The families who are deprived of one of their parents for even one evening due to meeting schedules surely are under stress. Since Mickey can't meet during the day because of class conflicts, and clearly anyone with children could never meet in the evening, I propose that we combine our child-bathing duties with our meeting schedules.

Just in front of the board dais is an overly large table, which during our meetings serves only to support projectors for Powerpoint presentations and to block the energy flow from the audience to the board. (And we all know how much the board needs those good vibes.) So if we do away with Powerpoint and replace the table with a large tub we could indeed bathe our children and hold meetings at the same time. (I'm sure the local cable channel will be careful not to direct the camera at the tub.)

Now, Jane's son may not want to participate, and I certainly can't speak for either Jill's or Jim's family, but I am sure my confident nudists (at least the younger two) would really enjoy a public display of bathing fun. I leave it to you to make suggestions to your family and to your staff.

It would add a certain amount of frivolity to the evening's events, and who could be angry at anyone who publicly and lovingly cares for their children right there in public view? What better way to judge someone's character than to watch those tender bedtime rituals between parent and child? I really think this is the way to go.

Since all meetings are open to the public, then I would suggest that anyone who wishes to partake do so. Perhaps a rule about swishing the tub clean after every use would be beneficial, and I would like to have the District Secretary post a note that water births really are going to be discouraged in the public meetings. (Maybe we could rent the tub out for water births for extra income to the District!!)

I am so excited about this new proposal!! Can't wait to see you later!

Take Care,



Doug Hoffman said...

You need to post a followup . . . what kind of response did you get?

I especially liked the part about water births. Eeew!

meljean brook said...

My letter of complaint would go something like this:

Why do you have so few meetings? Can't you get me away from these kids? Please? Please? A meeting five days a week...puh-leeeeeze!

Suisan said...


What I thought was so funny about the complaint is that a) she was a touch self-righteous about the absolute first right of bathtime, and b) she sent it to a board which has a majority of members who are parents of small children. Somehow we manage to attend.

Although I'm sure we are doing serious damage to our families in the process. (Not!)