Saturday, July 01, 2006

My inbox

Well, Thank God he's still alive, and he thought to write to ME!

-----Original Message-----
From: []
Sent: Saturday, July 01, 2006 7:54 AM

Good Day,

I wish to introduce myself to you. I am Col. Joshua Aristide (rtd).I am the
brother to the exiled President of Haiti. Due to the revolution against the
goverment of my brother caused by our political opponents in Haiti, we had
to flee the Country for the Safety of our lives. My wife, children and I
managed to enter a red cross airplane that was evacuating foreigners and
we are presently in Channel Islands On the English Coast.

We wish to invest in properties and other viable investments in your
country with your assistance and cooperation.If you are in a good position
to help my family,please send an e-mail to the e-mail address below indicating
desire to help my family invest this funds in your country and beyond.

I urgently await your e-mail letter.

best regards and hope to meet you soon.

God bless,

Col. Joshua Aristide (Rtd)

Nejlevnější ADSL na trhu. Již od 333 Kč za měsíc.

I can't wait to meet him either! I wonder if he's interested in making an investment in MY property. Because my front fence is leaning, the back shed has a leaking roof, I could use an upgrade on the hot tub, and I need to have both the font and back yards landscaped. Think of the acclaim I could bring to my little town if I were able to convince the brother of Aristide to come live here!

So Excited!!!!


Kristie (J) said...

Saaayy do you suppose he is related to the Nigerian guy I got an email from a couple of months ago? Amazingly enough it was a very similar tale of woe for him and wealth for me. Sadly I wasn't in a position to help him out :-(

Suisan said...

Well, perhaps Kristie. I seem to have remembere getting a similar mailing from someone in Nigeria who had relatives in London?

But see, I'm sure this is for real.

After all, he TELLS me, right there in the email that he's Aristide's brother. You gotta believe him!

Oops, gotta run. There's another email here which says that my Citibank account is abou to be frozen unless I click on the link. Funny. I don't remember ever *having* a Citibank account. Guess I'll click onth e link anyway, just to make sure.

ight after I follow up with this amazing prospect from J. Aristide!

CindyS said...

Shit, I read that last comment as 'amazing prospect from J. Astroglide' I'm thinking that's a lube but maybe it just sounds like one.

Damn, aren't you glad I'm back and not making any sense?


La Karibane said...

LOL, this made my day. I've gotten Nigerian emails but this is a fave.

I'm Haitian, born and raised. And I can garantee you that Jean Bertrand Aristide, while he may have plurals of brothers and sisters (who knows? Birth control isn't a priority here anyway), said sibling would NEVER have a first name of Joshua. That's just not a Haitian name at all, LOL!

This is even more funny considering that a) Aristide hates the army for the '91 coup so he DISOLVED the armed forces in 94 so Josh couldn't have possibly "retired" for the FAD'H and b) the domaine thingy is CZECH. Talk about international

Btw, the US govt is investigating Aristide for money laundering and assorted drug crimes. Ain't life grand?

I think I'm going to keep this one as a memento. Too funny.

Suisan said...

Cindy, making sense is never a prerequisite for posting or commenting. You know that.

La Karibane, I was soooo intrigued by the name Joshua as well. Thanks for commenting. I guess I shouldn't expect him to come fix my fence? Shucks.

Anonymous said...

Nice...I got this one too, and as a real estate agent I was a little intrigued...I replied, which may explain the virus I now have on my laptop.
Here is my reply...
Right on man, I feel your pain. I have an amazing property listed that is is the neighborhood of 2.5 million US dollars. I think it would be a great investment for a dignitary such as yourself and with the market right now in our sleepy town of 2500 people, YOU should fit right in!
Hope all is well with you and your family.

I will sacrifice my computer, but not my personal information for the good of all to see what kind of response I get!

Anonymous said...

So what do you know...I got a response from my sarcastic email!!
Oh, and it is just as I expected, transfer of funds...How do these guys get away with this? Maybe I should call the FBI or something...That would be fun! Get in on a federal investigation...scam the scammer, I'm all about that!!!
Anyone up for calling the phone # he gave???

I am in receipt of your email in response to my
soliciting assistance and I want to thank you for
your positive disposition towards assisting in this
endeavor.As a devout Christain for more than 45yrs and
friend as it were, I would be very frank and open up to
you.My brother Jean Betrand, is the past President of my country
Haiti and is presently on exile.
During his tenure in office, he did stash away some money
running into Hundreds of Millions of Dollars to secure our
future on leaving office. Unfortunately, these funds were
discovered intheir various accounts and the accounts
consequently frozen as they were in his name and most
others in my name.
Conseqently, on the advice of the Pinochet family we
moved the sum of Twenty Million million Dollars from RIGGS BANK OF
AMERICA to a finance Institution in Europe to avoid the
funds being frozen and the money deposited on behalf of a
foreigner. All This was done so as not to have any link to
the family.Please see the website below:

Hence I contacted you just as an individual without any
connections to my family .We have intentions of investing
in properties with your assistance and cooperation. But
firstly For us to be able to lay claim to these funds and
put to use, we will need to transfer all rights of
beneficiary to you .If you are properly disposed to
assisting, which I hope you are, I will instruct my family
lawyer to perfect all documentations in your name and
secure in your favor the Certificate of Deposit from the
Finance Institution in Europe. Once this is in place, you
will now have the legal powers to act as beneficiary of
the funds to enable you contact the Finance House in Europe
for payment of the funds to you for our investment in
You will only contact the Finance Institution when you have legal powers
(Certificate of Deposit) to do so and I will furnish you
with the deposit code which was used to deposit the funds.
Please take note that this transaction will be legitimate.
Note that the aim of this initial business transaction is
to protect our future. In this regard as mentioned
earlier,I have a desire to invest in the international
real estate sector with your assistance.
I am proposing a 15% compensation to you for your
assistance in this initial stage. I hope this is okay by
you. Your contribution as beneficiary will see us through
to success. So your full cooperation and commitment is
required and nothing less.The second stage of this
transaction as mentioned earlier involves investment.
Please note that I intend to invest my share of the total
amount transferred in a profitable venture. If it is
convenient, I will need you to come on board as the
managing partner of that future venture in your country
and will therefore be needing your investment advise. For
this future business venture,I am proposing 20% of accrued
profit as your share.
Please let me know if these terms are okay by you Lastly, I
hope that you will not disappoint me or take advantage of
my situation here, It takes a lot to entrust such an
amount into a strangers care considering the fact that we
have not met before, but please understand that I do not
have any choice for I do not want the funds to be frozen or
deal with anybody that has the remotest of connection with
my family or friends.For this assistance, I will forever
be grateful. My greetings to your family. Please
endeavour to call me here in Guernsey,Channel Islands
for further briefing. I urgently await your call.
Thank you and God Bless.
Best regards
Colonel Joshua Aristide (Rtd)

DIRECT TELEPHONE:+447040110543

Please endeavour to keep the informaions disclosed to you
in this e-mail letter confidencial and take note that
this transaction is risk free and on the succeessful
conclusion of this transaction we shall make arrangments
for a face to face meeting in YOUR COUNTRY.We shall like
to buy lake,equine and residencial/commercial properties,condos, inns
and possible hotels