Thursday, April 06, 2006


I have to bring Boston Cream Pie to my daughter's fifth grade open house tonight. (Her chosen State for the year-long State Project is Massachusetts. I never want to hear another fact about Massachusetts ever again. EVER!)

So today I'm baking cakes for Boston Cream Pie.

Husband: Why don't you just BUY a Boston Cream Pie?
Suisan: Because I can't.
Husband: Don't try to prove anything, just go out and buy one.
Suisan: I CAN'T!!!
Husband: Why?
Suisan (screeching in a manner which is most unbecoming, coming totally unhinged because she is stressing over a dessert): Because we live in Freaking California, and every bakery I've called has no CLUE what a Boston Cream Pie is!!

What I've learned about Massachusetts:

How to spell it.
How to s p r e a d the name overthetop of the posterboard e ven ly.
The Boston University Bridge on Commonwealth Ave claims that it is the only bridge *in the world* where a plane can simultaneously fly over a car, travelling over a train, travelling over a sailboat. Surely this isn't the ONLY bridge in the world.
Massachusetts was the first in the nation to have or invent:
Public School
Prep School
University (Harvard? 1636? Again, isn't William and Mary older?)
Post Office (this is a stretch--I can get you details if you want it)
Public Library
Public Park
Subway (yep--beat out NYC)
Sewing Machine
Morse Code
Basketball and Volleyball
First railroad to charge communter fares (1838--this also seems fishy)
Howard Johnson's
Dunkin Donuts

And they became a state before there was a union--in other words MA had a State Constitution before the United States had one. Can I tell you how confusing this is for my California baby who thinks all US history started in 1849 with the California Gold-Rush?

Off to finish the damn cakes.

Did I tell you I have a Board Meeting tonight from 4-6, then Open House from 7-8? I'm getting so overscheduled.

2:40 pm. Edited to add: The Cream Pies are DONE. They're cooling in the refrigerator, and the kitchen is a disaster. I must say, if you pour enough melted chocolate on the top of any quality homemade cake the results do look yummy.


Megan Frampton said...

My favorite thing about Massachusetts? That it's the only state (correct me if I'm wrong) that has CANDLEPIN bowling, and no-one knows what that is.

And I didn't know about the big ball with the holes (yes, it does sound dirty) until I moved to NY.

Oh, and the DAMN SUBWAY has its last train BEFORE the headlining band goes on stage. Which means young new wavers have to walk home to Cambridge from Boston if they went out to see, say, Mission of Burma. Feh on the subway.

NY's is open 24/7, baby.

Good luck with the pie. And the frappes. And the jimmies. And the subs.

Doug Hoffman said...

What I remember from Boston: Best. Fried. Clams. Ever.

Suisan said...


No one out here on the Left Coast has a clue--we teach kids how to bowl using inflatable tubes in the gutters but with great big slam-your-fett-flat-if-you-drop-them-balls. And I once asked about Candlepin bowling out here--person asked me back if it was like skee ball. EH?

And Frappes. There *is* a milkshake in Boston but it ain't what the rest of the world calls a milkshake. Frappes = everyone else's "milkshake." Boston milkshake = something sublime and dreamy. Like Lime Rickeys.

And the Boston Subway practically stops running at sundown, or at least it feels that way.

Doug: Yes. Fried clams. Ummmm. Very poor choice to bring to an Elementary Open House though. Cold, limp, and, eh, clammy.

Suisan said...

*Slam-your-FOOT-flat, not fett.

Damn, that could have been a decent joke if my typing hadn't gotten in the way. :(

(What's a fett?)

CindyS said...

(What's a fett?)

I didn't know, but I was believing you ;)

I'm really not sure about Boston Cream Pies being a cake but I guess you have had this argument.

Hope you had a great night!

For some reason I always think you live near Megan and you live an entire continent away! Hell, I live closer to you than she does. Well, not if you are in the southern part ...



Jay said...

If it's any consolation Cindy, I always forget you're in the same time zone as I am. I always seem to think of you in the middle of Canada (like in line with North/South Dakota)

CindyS said...

Holy Shit, you mean I'm not in the center of Canada?

Off to look at a map!

Wait, Jay, you're in NJ right? I some how always think you are in Texas. Where I got that from I have no clue. I've never claimed to be the brains of the operation ;)


Kate R said...

Too late now but, if you should ever have to go for MA again, the
massachusetts state muffin is the Corn Muffin. A couple of Jiffy Muffin packs and whoops -- you're done.

no, don't hit me. I'm just the messenger.

Suisan said...

Kate, I was interested in the corn muffin, but can I just tell you that we practicaly drowned in corn bread at the Open House? Any state that grows corn has a mother who said, "Oooo! Corn Bread!" (Massachusetts' state cookie is the Chocolate Chip--we were pretty close to bringing in a package of Chips Ahoy!) Although I admire the Oklahoma family who brought in Buffalo Meatballs. Spicy, warm, not-a-dessert. Yummmm.

Did you know that Massachusetts also has a state SOIL? That geotechnical lobby is apparently pretty strong....