2. Run around the house like a flustered pigeon for a few minutes as that sinks in.
3. Practice deep breathing exercises.
4. Acknowledge that Neo is going to Washington DC for a Leadership conference lasting one week in July. With one week on either side of her conference dedicated to visiting grandparents in Boston and NYC, she's got July pretty well mapped out. Phew.
5. Remember that you were going to sign her up for community college courses. Check the website.
6. Discover that ALL the community college courses run during June and July for three weeks, therefore completely conflicting with the Leadership conference.
7. Consider doing the pigeon thing again but decide against it in the interest of banging your head against the desk and mentally excoriating yourself for displaying such grand stupidity in procrastinating this long.
8. Remember that someone talked about classes at the art college? Do a websearch.
9. HURRAH! Look at that! California College of Art offers a two week course for middle schoolers taught by CCA instructors. And look at that! Computer art! Drawing from life! (Using clothed models. Hee.) Wow.
10. Turn to scheduling middle son. Apparently there's a summer camp program he qualifies for which runs for three consecutive weeks. OK, but I can't tell which weeks have openings.
11. Bang head on desk some more.
12. Turn to scheduling youngest child. There's another summer camp program I'd like to get her into, but I can't tell which weeks are open.
13. Bang head on desk some more.
14. Stare blankly at various webpages for various camps where it talks about visiting the facilities in February. February? Applications open in March? MARCH? Who the hell thinks about summer programs in March?
15. Shit. And now they're probably all booked up, and this is my fault for not having been on top of this. I went through this last summer too, the last minute scramble.
16. And the plane fares are going to be through the fucking roof. All three kids visit their grandparents in NYC by themselves for at least one week. Neo, no problem-- she's already headed in that direction. But for the others? I have to fly back and forth across the country. And if son is enrolled in summer camp, then I have to be here to pick him up at the end of the day, and the camp is across a bridge.
17. Remember this one? There's a bridge, and you are carrying a large watermelon, leading a wolf, and herding a pig. Only one item can go across the bridge at one time, otherwise the bridge will crack under the weight. If you leave the wolf on the same shore as the pig, the wolf will eat the pig. If you leave the watermelon on the same shore as the pig, the pig will eat the watermelon. How do you get all three across the bridge?
18. Number 17 above is how my summer travel plans look right now.
19. I cannot have son in his camp while Neo is at art class, as I will be unable to get to CCA to pick her up in time. Phebe, the youngest, can be at City camp during that time.
20. If I enroll Phebe in the more exciting summer camp (which is obviously more expensive), I cannot have her there while son is at his camp, nor while Neo is at art classes, as the programs all start and end at the same time. In different towns. All requiring travel over Different Bridges.
21. This, of course, assumes that Phebe will GO to exciting summer camp.
22. Which looks to be impossible at this point.
23. More headbanging. Why oh why oh why do I wait until the last POSSIBLE minute to set these things up? This is not fair to Phebe -- I want her to experience a traditional summer camp with horseback riding, popsicle stick art, campfires, and swimming lessons. And only because she is the youngest, I can't make it work. So unfair.
24. Recognize that this exercise takes way too many scraps of paper with illegible scrawlings all over them. Remember that similar exercises have eventually worked themselves out with little fanfare.
25. Get a call from son's summer camp program letting me know that all weeks are available, and that he is a candidate for the program, and that we can immediately set up an intake interview so that he can attend.
26. Cue the Heavenly Chorus: Sing along, won't you?
Lift every voice and sing, till earth and Heaven ring,(This is one of two hymns that although I enjoy humming along, I sincerely cannot sing it out loud in a group of people without crying. It is just that beautiful when everyones' voices vibrate together in my chest. So far, no one at church has ever seemed to mind. FYI, the other is Eternal Father, Strong to Save.)
Ring with the harmonies of liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise, high as the listening skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
27. Anyway, if they have room in all sessions, then most of my scheduling conflicts are over. Whew!
28. I need a margarita. Really.