Monday, June 16, 2008


Yes, it's been a long while since I posted. Sorry about that.

Let's see, since April, what has happened? Looks like this will have to be a list and I'll blog about individual stuff later.

  • My mother is still insane. (How do I know this? She sent me a 3 page single-spaced draft obituary for herself listing every cultural institution for which she holds season tickets and every charitable donation she has ever made. Ok, then.)
  • My brother is still insane. (How do I know this? He's decided that his older son now belongs to his ex-wife. He's only going to focus on the younger son who likes him. For now.)
  • My house is still a mess.
  • My kids are doing well.
  • Neo's going to have her artwork on display at the County Fair this July. And she got three pieces in the Middle School Art Show. AND her cover was chosen for the "Spring Supplement" to the yearbook. Good job, kid.
  • School's out. Eek. This means the kids are home for months at a time. Eek.
  • We have chickens. Five pullets who are waiting for the backyard coop to finish being built.
  • With corn prices going up and flooding in the midwest, Dear Butcher's prices are going through the roof. We're hanging in there, but there's a bit of white-knuckling going on.
Saul's now in a different school environment, which is a relief to everyone. We pulled him from regular public school on April 5, but he didn't start at the new program until May 5. Gah. It's a very structured token-based behavior modification program with only ten students in his class. Do well, earn points, use points to buy rewards or gifts from the store. The better you do each day, the higher you advance in levels. With every level comes more and more rewards. Most days have been perfect days -- he rocketed up the levels through five stages in yellow, ten in green, and I believe that he's now at Red-10. (The academics aren't all that great, but for right now we're enjoying the newer stress levels.) What's amazing though is to hear him *use* his skills from school at home: "I'm too tired to do this right now. I'm going up to my room." (Watch Suisan fall on the floor.) Or, "Jacob, I'm in a bad mood right now. I'll play with you in a sec, but first I need some time to myself." (Wait, Saul. Did you really just say that?)

Not all the news is good, however. Since late April, we've had some truly violent outbursts from Saul -- in one we were about two minutes away from hospitalizing him. Violent to the point where adults ended up on top of him holding him face down to the ground. Scary shit. None of these happened at school. Two were at home, two were at his family therapist's office. Struggling through those really set me back during the month of May. Nightmares, guilt, self-doubt, every negative emotion you could think of. Come June, I think things are better. It's still a struggle though. Drudgery. Get up, get kids dressed. Plan the day. Make lunch. etc., etc., Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Most days I feel as if I'm underwater. Today I'm battling the tail end of a head cold (sinus pain) so I feel especially underwater. But the view's nice from here. Sort of blurry, but nonetheless a lovely pale turquoise.


Ambar said...

Glad to hear from you!

Suisan said...

Thanks, Ambar.

Megan Frampton said...

Glad you're back, and glad Saul is somewhere that is helping him more.

Kate R said...

welcome back. Sorry about your stint under water and Saul's scary episodes. I hope the school thing stays good. None of that over the summer? Any kind of camp like it?

Anonymous said...

Bad patches are bad. :(

But am selfishly relieved to see you back here. :)

Anon Again

Suisan said...

Saul's got a week of vacation, and then he goes back to school again for the month of July. M-Thu, 8:30 to 12:30.

Technically it's a day treatment facility, so that's why there's a summer option. In August I'm taking him to NYC for a bit, and then school starts up again ridiculously early in August.

So he's got summer covered. Working on the other two more than worrying about Saul.

CindyS said...

Glad you found time to post! I'm sorry for the scary episodes (can't even begin to imagine) but am glad that you have found a place where Saul can hopefully excel.

And hopefully you can stay a spell ;)