Friday, September 08, 2006

News Headline

Along the lines of Ms. Kate Rothwell's discovery of the zoophilia instructional page: Animal Cruelty case

Sheriff's Deputies Make Bizarre Arrest
Wednesday September 6, 2006
Santa Barbara County sheriff's deputies come across a bizarre encounter at La Purisima Mission in Lompoc.

Around midnight they found a 69-year-old Huntington beach man naked and covered in oats.

Deputies say the man had covered himself in olive oil, rolled around in oats and allowed the horses at the mission to lick him clean.

He apparently told deputies this has always been a fantasy of his and drove up from the Los Angeles area to play it out.

Alfred Thomas Steven was cited and released for trespassing, animal cruelty and sexually assaulting an animal.

So, emm, just thinking out loud here: wouldn’t teeth be involved in this endeavor? And, really, sexually assaulting a horse? What, the horse thought about it later and decided that his dignity had been assaulted and his reputation impugned, so the horse pressed charges? Very, very odd.


C2 said...

Olive oil and oats?? Sounds like a recipe for a good exfoliator...but I guess he wasn't thinking along those lines. Yikes.

Welcome back, by the way! Fires all out?

CindyS said...

Hey, you know what, he's 69, let him go out and see what'll happen with a bunch of oats stuck to his ass.

The horses were probably highly offended that a 69 year old man thougth he was good enough to eat. Give 'em Brad Pitt and I'm betting they wouldn't have pressed charges ;)

Missed you!


Suisan said...

Fires all out. Throw a few wrinkly 69 year old men, a can of oats, and bucket of olive oil at any old problem and it's surprising how fast everyone runs away from the fight.


Kristie (J) said...

LOL - what a peculiar story *g*. Glad you're back blogging again!

spy scribbler said...

Now, I have to admit it's peculiar! But I don't see that the man assaulted the animal ... sounds like it was the other way around!

I imagine the horse thinking, "What a weird human, but hey ... yummy oats!"

I can't say what the man did was right, but I can't say that he was assaulting the horse, either.

Suisan said...

I can't say what the man did was right, but I can't say that he was assaulting the horse, either.

Well, yeah, that's what was bothering me too.

How do your charge the MAN with assault? Weird.